Breathe In

I was speaking to a dear friend today and we were talking about determination and enthusiasm in practicing bhakti yoga. She was mentioning how sometimes she finds it difficult to be steady and I just looked at her and said, "Only sometimes? Wow, you're doing well!"

Isn't it a fact? It's hard to remain consistent and focused on any discipline, what to speak of a spiritual discipline. Practicing mantra meditation, reading and performing some type of service isn't much. But, throw in school/work, family, friends, Facebook (:P) and of course that crazy, turbulent mind and all of a sudden that "isn't much" turns into a heavy burden.

At the end of the day, it really depends on where our priorities lie. At different stages in life, those priorities may shift and we have to be willing to adjust and re-adjust. However, the number one priority should always remain the same- our spiritual sadhana. Whenever I say I'm too busy it's code for: I know I should make my sadhana my priority but either due to laziness or lack of motivation I'm not going to.

So how can I kick out that laziness or lack of motivation? Because let's face it, as bhakti yogis most of us know that our sadhana is what keeps us connected to Krsna and therefore is our lifeline in this ocean of confusion we live in. So it's not a lack of knowledge that's the problem. When this happens to me, I can chalk it up to a lack of inspiration.

For me, inspiration means to see in action what I want to do or be. It means having a role model. Seeing someone walk the talk. That's truly inspiration. It's important to note that of our three-fold check and balance system (Guru, Sadhu and Sastra) two of them are personalities and the third is filled with exemplary personalities.

Looking up the etymology of the word inspiration, I discovered the root is from the Latin word breathe. In fact, to inspire is to "breathe in". Metaphorically that's what we do when we are inspired. We breathe in another person's mentality, outlook, determination, etc, etc... We get rejuvenated by breathing in fresh air and releasing our old, stale outlook. Just as we cannot subsist on stale air, similarly we cannot subsist on degraded thoughts.

In fact, if our air supply was cut off what would we do? We would do whatever it took to locate another source. This is how important seeking spiritual inspiration should be in our lives. We should constantly be searching for it and if for whatever reason we lose inspiration, we should go to any length to find it.

A nice meditation to reflect on the next time you breathe in.

Be Blessed...

"Get blessings." It's a common phrase we hear among those who frequent bhakti circles. But what does it mean to get blessings? Are they really necessary? And most importantly, can anyone give blessings?

When one genuinely wishes well for another person, that's a blessing. It's something that comes from the heart and cannot be faked or contrived. It means the one who is blessing is praying to the Lord to help guide and send auspiciousness into the life of the one receiving the blessings.

In this age of self-sufficiency and independence, the importance and role of blessings has almost faded away. Speaking for myself, it's imperative that I am constantly reminded on how nothing in my life can happen without blessings. Having grown up in an environment of "be the creator of your own destiny" and "you have the power to make it happen" it's easy to forget that. Definitely we must endeavor, but it has to be within the framework of blessings.

It's that framework that protects us and guides us because in order to receive blessings, we need to open our minds and heart. To do so, we need to genuinely take shelter and accept guidance and advice from those we are seeking blessings from. When we submit in this way, we are unlocking the hearts of those persons' and naturally blessings are a natural reciprocation. Who wouldn't wish the very best to someone who genuinely feels that they need help?

But it's important to note that there are all types of blessings. This idea of simply asking blessings for the sake of blessings has permeated many a person's consciousness, but there's something so much higher. Anyone who has even some saintly qualities will give blessings if asked, because in the simplest sense blessings simply mean to wish well for another. But, to get the genuine, real blessings there's no easier way to receive these than through service. Service not only attracts the heart of the devotee but ultimately the heart of Srimati Radharani herself.

It's Radharani's grace, those blessings, that descend upon us through the devotees that have the power to make anything happen. That's what it means to get blessings- to have the well-wishes of the devotees and the merciful side-long glace of Srimati Radharani protecting you.

So what are you waiting for? Go on and be blessed.

Taking It All In

This summer has been filled with so many experiences and emotions.

But through it all though, I've been haunted by one thought, "Am I really taking it all in?" At the end of the day it's the in between moments that really have the greatest impact on me. It's that one realization that Krsna suddenly gives to you during a particularly trying circumstance, that smile of infinite contentment you see wash over a dear friend's face for a split second or the loving chastisement of a true well-wisher. That's what really has an impact on my own sojourn in trying to become a devotee of Krsna.

I was reflecting on that today, actually giving myself time to relive the experiences I've had the honour of observing and living. Time which is otherwise consumed by hours on e-mail, Facebook and all kinds of other escapes I willingly embrace.

The first thing that came to my head was my friend Sara. I had the great fortune of meeting Sara in Vancouver this summer where we both participated in the Namamrta program faciliated by HH Bhakti Brhat Bhagavata Swami. This program is dedicated to helping devotees improve their japa in the venue of Srila Prabhupada's temples and following the full temple program.

Sara attended the program in full and was one of my greatest inspirations because her sincerity and realizations were so deep for one who had only started practicing bhakti yoga a mere few months before. I'll never forget her realization which she shared with all of us after our dedicated day of chanting more than 64 rounds. She was explaining how throughout the day she kept moving around trying to find a place where she could chant attentively. Finally, when all else failed, she sought out the Tulasi greenhouse. She said, "It was the only place where I could chant attentively, in the presence of Tulasi Maharani." Later on she sought me out and asked me to take a picture of Srimati Tulasi devi so that she could print it out and have it at home. She explained she wanted to chant in front of that picture everyday.

I was completely awe-struck. Here was this amazing devotee, seemingly new, who had already developed a rare and precious relationship with Srimati Tulasi Maharani. I revisit that moment often, especially when I see Tulasi Maharani.

I reflect on this one incident and then feel overwhelmed when I think of how many more are just waiting to be re-visited, to be truly imbibed in my heart. Although these moments seem to have come and gone, the true journey is just beginning- to take it all in.

Close Friendships

In the past two days I was reflecting on how important it is to have genuinely close devotee friendships. In today's day and age it's a challenge.

Most of us don't live in temples and the only time we may see one another is once a week at the Sunday feast. How is it possible to develop a friendship based on seeing someone once a week, especially if our "busy" lives don't allow us to communicate with one another during the week?

I know for myself, many of my close friendships during my university days came through school. The main reason being that you see one another EVERY day and go through the same experiences together. This brings those close bonds.

Similarly my closest devotee friends are those that I have had the great fortune of living with. Somehow Krsna has showered his unlimited blessings upon me and I have had the great fortune of living with so many wonderful devotees (though I doubt they would say the same thing! :)) Whether it be in Radhadesh, Mayapur, Toronto or Montreal, I cherish those/these times. I have learned and continue to learn so much from them.

In fact, just yesterday, two such friends were speaking to me about how much they feel Krsna in their lives. They were giving examples of different situations they were in and giving their realizations as to how they see Krsna's hand guiding their lives. It was just so powerful. Younger devotees who are genuinely Krsna conscious.

But these precious bonds don't come so cheaply. The investment one has to make is time- the most expensive commodity. I remember HG Kripamoya prabhu once saying that the main reason people stay in a spiritual organization is due to friendships. Everything may be perfect, but if one doesn't feel genuinely cared for, it is very easy to leave.

I feel so overwhelmed thinking of how many people have put effort into cultivating friendships with me. I would like to thank them from the bottom of my heart because I know it is because of their love and care, that I am where I am today.

Full Circle

I once read a quote comparing a spiral staircase to life stating that we encounter the same lessons over and over but just at different levels.

There is a lot of truth in those words. Over and over I see how lessons, advice and situations come back full circle. When I first moved to Montreal during Kartik it struck me how I was living on the same street where my parents used to live when I was born. I had returned to where I had started (so to speak).

Similarly, I was musing over a conversation I had with my dad today. The gist of it was this- I need to go deeper. It's something I've known I should do for a long time now, but I think what is preventing me is that I'm not able to maintain my determination to remain single-minded and focused.

It reminded me of a conversation I had with my spiritual master once. I had asked him, "What should I look for in a spiritual master?" He replied, "You need someone who grounds you."

Both these conversations hold significant visual images of earth and stability. Krsna Consciousness is a wonderful process, but it is very easy to stay on the superficial, top surface. Whether it be service, relationships, chanting, etc..the list can go on and on. But it's not those "things" that help us, it is the quality of interactions and the consciousness behind it.

Becoming deeper to me means putting down deep roots such as sincerely chanting, hearing and reading. It also takes time. I need to til the soil through introspection. Go through the arduous task of identifying the weeds of my anarthas, take increasing shelter in the nourishing soil of the Holy Name and continue watering those roots with vaisnava sanga.

And what if I don't? Well, I think I'll just keep coming back to this realization: all those lessons, advice and situations I experienced are there for only one purpose- to help me take shelter and go deep in becoming truly Krsna conscious and I'll keep encountering them over and over until I really imbibe them. I pray for the mercy of the vaisnavas that I may be blessed as I re-begin my journey to become and go deeper in hopes of one day becoming a strong, deep-rooted servant.

Calm Down!

Ever notice when you are chanting that you get the best ideas? You realize that you’ve forgotten to do a million different things and start getting panicked and worried that if you don’t care of it right now then you’ll forget. Or maybe it suddenly hits you that you haven’t been in touch with a dear friend for a long time and you make a grab for your cell phone to send off a quick text message?

Welcome to my world of chanting. It never ceases to amaze me that when I sit down to chant I’m deluged with so many different pressing matters that I wouldn’t have otherwise noticed. It happened to my again today. There I was trying to hear the sound of the holy names when I remembered a deadline for a service I’m engaged in. This is one of the hardest callings to ignore: when reminders of service and ideas for new services start to manifest when one chants. Anxiety started to wash over me, but suddenly from somewhere came a voice that said, “CALM DOWN!”

It was amazing! Immediately I started to calm down. Instead of giving a slew of reasons to stop chanting and get to work immediately on this service, my intelligence actually spoke up for a change and said, “There’s time. Don’t worry. You will get this done and I promise I won’t let you forget.”

As I continued chanting something else came up and this time I actually verbally spoke out the words, “CALM DOWN!” It worked. It also made me realize something. As most of us are practicing bhakti yogis who are trying to balance our material and spiritual lives, we are very busy individuals. When we are not involved with school or work, many are involved with spiritual activities. In the rare instances that we are not swamped, the only thing that most people want to do is relax. Take a break from the mental clutter and just do something effortless.

The problem is that nowhere in our busy lives do we actually make the time to just reflect. We don’t ever give ourselves even a mere 5-10 minutes of private, silent time on a daily basis. Is it any surprise then, when we sit down to chant, that our mind takes opportunity of that time to go crazy and remind us of a million and one things?

In fact, if you really think about it, those thoughts and reminders that creep up are actually disguises for a much deeper problem. They are indirect hints that we are not allowing ourselves to experience emotions. Our excuse for being busy is very convenient since we numb ourselves to all our feelings whether they be positive or negative. That’s why instead of feeling any taste or attachment to the holy names, we feel stress, anxiety, restlessness or any other milieu of emotions. It becomes the only time we actually feel everything we’ve built up inside of us.

How can we feel anything to the holy name when we’ve become so expert at not really feeling anything at all? It may sound crazy, but think about it. With our calendars chock-full of events and things-to-do, it’s not unusual for someone to have more than three things to do on any given day. Where is the time to process what we feel and what other people are feeling in relation to us if we’re just running from one thing to the next?

I’ve begun to notice that those individuals who are really able to dive deep into their chanting are those who actually take the time to introspect and reflect on a daily basis. They will sit in front of the deities or write for some allotted time. Most of the time we run on automatic pilot and try to ignore the mind’s demands because let’s face it, there’s no time. But the mind is just like a child- if you don’t willingly give time, it will just demand and grab it from you at inopportune times. So if you don’t give time to process experiences and emotions, most likely you’ll start to notice that you’ll do it while you are chanting.

So calm down and give yourself a break! There really is enough time in the day and you can afford to take a few minutes for yourself to really experience everything that is going on. It may be that elusive key to experiencing some emotion when chanting the holy names.

You'll be tested

Do you like giving advice? Do you get a rush of adrenaline and importance? Perhaps it makes you feel useful and valued. Or perhaps it allows you to step out of your own shoes and into someone else's for a few seconds or minutes. Whatever the reason may be, and I'm sure there are millions, the majority of people like to give advice. Few like to receive it. :) It's even been said that if you want to win someone over, all you need to do is ask for advice.

In a world where everyone thinks they have the answers it's actually the ultimate coup for someone to ask for advice for it signifies that the advisor knows more than the askee.

Of course most people know that's it's definitely easier to dish it out than to take it. We've all been there. It's always seems so easy to fix someone else's problems than our own. But what we don't realize is that as aspiring bhakti yogis that there is more to this scenario than meets the eye.

Especially as bhakti yogis, we often are placed in the position of advisors. Since the devotees are kind, compassionate and wish they best for all, others will naturally gravitate towards them. But beware, it's also a test.

Recently I was listening to a lecture by HH Radhanath Swami where he said that has seen numerous examples of this scenario where bhakti yogis have given advice. But here's the catch. Anytime they have given any kind of advice, Krsna has put those persons in a similar, if not exact same situation. Why? Because Krsna is not looking to see if we can just dish out good advice. He wants to make sure that we can walk our talk. If we gave some bhakti-centric advice, Krsna wants to make sure that we also recognize and actively implement that same advice when it applies in our own life.

The devotee is meant to be a role model. What good is a role model that just talks very nicely and never does anything themselves? In fact, real potency or ability to affect others, comes when someone practices what they speak.

So be ready! If you act in a role of an advisor, or confidante or friend or mentor keep your eyes open. Whatever wonderful advice you dispense to others, make sure that you pay attention yourself. The time when you may need to use it yourself maybe coming up sooner than you think.