Facebook Validation, Anyone?

I don't go on cnn.com very often, but two days when I was randomly glancing at various articles on the website, one caught my attention. It was an opinion piece titled "Facebook threatens to 'Zuck up' the human race."

It began by speaking a little bit about Facebook's IPO (yawn), but then it got interesting. The article quoted a Professor who said, "There's a "shift" from an analog world in which our identities are generated from within, to a digital world in which our sense of self is intimately tied to our social media presence." That's a lot of big words, but essentially it boils down to this: we have stopped looking within to discover who we are and instead are dependent on external sources of validation (i.e. number of likes, friends or posts). Instead of being true to our own ideals and own sense of self, this constant need for validation is fuelled by social media such as Facebook.

Now, I think most of us need this validation to varying extents, with or without Facebook. Memories of high school anyone? My parents never fail to remind me how much money they spent on me (until I got my own job!) so that I could wear the right clothes from the right stores. But before, that was where it ended. What you wore, who you hung out with, what car you drove...it was the external packaging that mattered. Now, it's all that and how much influence you have in the world of social media.

Now, I must admit that I am a Facebook user and I too have succumbed to the infatuation from time to time. Ever put up a status post and then check back every so often to see how many likes/comments you've gotten? Then you too have been bitten by the bug of needing social media validation. That being said, like everything in the material world, social media is also ensconced in duality. These negative effects can be argued against the positive of being able to reach so many people in pursuits of sharing bhakti yoga. But like everything, it's all about balance.

I found my balance awhile back when I noticed something. The more time I spend on Facebook, the less satisfied I feel. It's true. It causes me to compare myself against others which makes absolutely no sense. I am an individual soul that has certain things that are to come to me and to learn in this lifetime. Comparing myself to others is like regressing back to high school where looks mattered and nothing else.

Bhakti teaches us that happiness is found within and has nothing to do with the externals. It has to do with simplicity. The simplicity to realize that "Hey, I'm a tiny spirit soul that needs Krsna to do everything! I am in this particular dress for now, but it would be wise if I don't get too attached to it." So if Facebook can somehow remind us of that, it's a useful tool. But beware! It's easy to get lost in the world of likes, comments and Timeline.

My Trusted Travel Companion

As most people who know me well will tell you, I tend to travel. A lot.

My love of travel was developed at a young age. Growing up I remember travelling at least once a year if not more. I still recall my first travel by air "by myself" at the age of around 14. Hitting my early twenties the travel fever hit me full force landing my in amazing places like Belgium, Croatia, England, Germany, India etc etc...

Nowadays whether its travelling by air, the local bus, in a car or by my own two feet, I have one steady travel companion. This travel companion is the perfect friend. They never complain when I toss them unceremoniously into a bag at the last minute or when they are jolted around in the bumps and turns that accompany travel. They are always there, patiently waiting for me to pay some attention to them. Never demanding but always ready.

They are my japa beads. Rarely do I leave the house without them. They accompany almost everywhere I go whether it be to work, a walk or a four month trip to India.

Without them by my side it feels strangely unsettling. It doesn't mean that I always turn to them and engage in any active conversation, it just means that they are with me. One of those rare friends that does not expect anything but is faithfully around. In travel there are so many unexpected surprises, I'm so grateful to have a trusted friend I can always rely on.

Like a Blade of Grass

I keep getting opportunities to experience "feeling humble like a blade of grass" and 99.9% of the time I blow it! My false ego always gets in the way and the humbling experience is lost. In its place I experience frustration, hurt, outrage or numerous other emotions.

But today something happened. I encountered a situation where I just handled everything badly. You know one of those situations where everything you say just comes out wrong and your good intentions are just not conveyed? Yup...it was one of those. Normally in these situations, I naturally take my own side by thinking, "It's not my fault. I was misunderstood." As I was about to begin that journey in trying to make myself feel better and shift blame, I felt something change. It was like suddenly seeing another path I never noticed before and something inside said, "How about being like that blade of grass?"

The grass never complains. It just remains in its constitutional position of being a blade of grass. So I asked myself, "How about it? How about using this situation as an opportunity to experience your own constitutional position of being a small spiritual part and parcel." Instead of getting huffy and trying to protect my ego, why not just let it go. It's ok. I can instead learn from this experience. And that's just it- in order to learn, one needs to be humble. I'll never learn if I simply assign blame. And besides, where is that going to get me at this moment? Maybe some temporary satisfaction, but it's not going to help in the long run.

Certainly this being the eve of the most munificent appearance day of Lord Caitanya, I can only understand this to be his causeless mercy. I'm certainly not realized enough to act like this EVER! Just goes to show, mercy can appear in all sorts of shapes and form. Today it appeared in the form of a dose of humility. But the most amazing thing is that it was revealed and experienced due to Lord Caitanya.

All glories to Sri Sacinandana whose beautiful smile and magnanimity is unlimited! Wishing everyone a most auspicious and joyous Gaura Purnima filled with kirtan and lots of mercy!

Now and Later

Frustration. That's what I think of when it comes to my mind. Having lived with mine for several decades, it still gets the better of me. Over and over I have succumbed to its desires. What can only be described as the pitiful cries of my intelligence become continuously swallowed by the blaring horns of the mind which screams only two words- now and later.

Sad to say but those two words, in the hands of my mind, lead to my downfall almost every time. So surreptitiously does the mind know how and when to use them. "Oh come on. If you don't eat this now then you may never get a chance again." Ever hear that running through your head just before you reach for that extra slice of pizza or helping of shrikand? Your intelligence is fighting to get a word in edgewise but the savoury scents and cajoling of that voice in your head prompt you to ignore all caution. It's all about the now and besides, it's prasadam, right? And so you convince yourself until the next morning when you hit the snooze so many times that you barely have time to make it to the bus and that fantastic plan you had yesterday of completing at least half your rounds before work is shattered to pieces. It's back to chanting rounds in the evening after a long, exhausting day when all you really want to do is just sleep.

If the "now" ploy doesn't work, no worries for my mind since it has the "later" arsenal at its disposal. "It's the weekend, relax. You can chant your rounds later. You work so hard all week, it's ok." As I'm writing this, I'm shaking my head. How pathetic. I crumble at the mere words now and later. There's really not much else to it. This is the reason regulation in one's life is so important. I think back to the times when I was much more regulated and notice the one thing that was different- the placement of these words.

It was about "Chanting your rounds now and putting everything else off until later." Amazing isn't it, what a change in placement can do. Now and later, although powerful when put to selfish use, can actually help to put what is important in perspective.

This is what I LOVE about writing. Typing away a few thoughts can turn into illuminating realizations. Now and later which I earlier said were hinderances in the hands of my mind serve as a metaphor to remind me that everything is not black and white. It's not about simply eradicating something that seems negative but instead putting it in its proper place. That's the true art of bhakti.

In Honour Of...

Yesterday I heard the shocking news that three devotees passed away. I was left feeling hollow, especially upon hearing that one of the devotees is the husband of a friend who constantly inspires me with her devotion and dedication to deity worship.

As the day crawled by, my thoughts were mixed. Although I did not have the great fortune of knowing these three devotees, it became resoundingly obvious how much they were loved and how much they loved to serve. It made me reflect- one could argue that these three devotees had achieved the perfection of life. They had touched the lives of so many people around the world by giving them Krsna in different forms.

We do not consider the perfection of life to be measured by money, followers or power. Although alluring to many, they are vacant and useless substitutes when compared to love for Krsna and the devotees as well as the desire to share Krsna with others. That is what will remain a lasting legacy and that is ultimately what touches the souls of others. It's becoming more and more apparent that this is the great wealth that these devotees have inherited.

I'm sure that we all, in this huge vaisnava family of ours, have been touched by the lives of these devotees, whether it be direct or indirect. Our hearts and prayers are with the family and loved ones of these devotees, knowing full well that they have simply moved on to continue to render more and more service to Srila Prabhupada and Lord Caitanya.

A New Year, an old resolution...

I've taken to people watching a lot these days. Just plop yourself in an area and just sit and look. It's amazing what you will see. People are fighting, smiling, conversing, hurting, shopping, crying, laughing, thinking... As I witness this, I often wonder about their lives. Some seem as though they "have it all". I've often noticed with myself that if I'm not careful, it's easy to get sucked into the polished veneer many present to the external world.

It's easy to compare and think, "Wow everyone seems happier than I am" but fortunately, as I'm getting older and getting to know many on a much deeper level, that illusion is steadily starting to crumble. It serves as a constant reminder to me that the western conception of satisfaction/happiness is something that happens at you, but that's not accurate. Satisfaction is actually an austerity that one has to practice as explained in the Bhagavad-gita.

It's so easy to put the blame on "the universe", Krsna or anybody else who gets in the way of our desires. But the only person we should hold accountable for our satisfaction, or more likely, lack thereof, is ourselves. Truth be told, that never sits right with me! LOL! I know it's the truth, but it doesn't and if I reflect I can only come to the conclusion it's because I don't want to take responsibility of my satisfaction. As almost everything else, it's so easy to put the blame or obligation on someone else.

So what to do if you're like me? Someone who knows that they are responsible for their own satisfaction but still finds it difficult to take full responsibility for it. The only conclusion I've come to is to associate with those who actually take responsibility for their satisfaction. You'll notice that those who do, spend much more time trying to help others by giving them Krsna who ultimately is the only person who can fill that Krsna sized hole in our hearts. Furthermore, they are grateful and positive. They don't focus on what went wrong or who supposedly caused them pain, but instead practically live the words Lord Brahma once spoke:

tat te 'nukampāḿ su-samīkṣamāṇo
bhuñjāna evātma-kṛtaḿ vipākam
hṛd-vāg-vapurbhir vidadhan namas te
jīveta yo mukti-pade sa dāya-bhāk

My dear Lord, one who earnestly waits for You to bestow Your causeless mercy upon him, all the while patiently suffering the reactions of his past misdeeds and offering You respectful obeisances with his heart, words and body, is surely eligible for liberation, for it has become his rightful claim. SB. 10.14.8

It's December 30, 2011. As many prepare for tomorrow night's festivities or a quiet night in to ring in 2012, I'm revisiting an old resolution. I'd like to take responsibility for my own satisfaction and stop waiting for it to just "come to me." I pray that in 2012 I may develop the proper consciousness to serve the vaisnavas.

Patience and Enthusiasm

I’ve often been told that I’m extremely enthusiastic. Truth be told, at times I’ve wondered if that was a compliment or a backhanded way of saying something else!

In our Vaisnava tradition enthusiasm is one of the cornerstones that our bhakti journey should rest upon. I’ve always found it quizzical when the inevitable question comes up “How does one become enthusiastic?” There are several responses I’ve heard over the years but the one that always stands out is “Associate with those who are enthusiastic.”

Being enthusiastic, however, is not so difficult. One naturally becomes enthusiastic about something that motivates them, inspires them or enlivens them. I would argue that maintaining enthusiasm in our day to day sadhana and services is what is more challenging. It’s easy to feel enthusiastic for a second, an hour, a day or perhaps even a week. But we, in the line of the great Vaisnava acaryas, aspire for more. We aspire for lifetime upon lifetime of consistent and ever increasing enthusiasm to not only serve Krsna but to serve the Vaisnavas.

In a lecture I was recently listening to, the dual workings of patience and enthusiasm was highlighted and as the proverbial saying goes a light bulb finally went on in my head. I’ve often found it almost contradictory that both of these qualities are extremely important in the cultivation of bhakti. In my experience, being enthusiastic often results in me wanting something right now, whereas patience requires just that- patience which is something that I firmly believe Krsna has on his priority list for me to acquire right along with humility!

However, as was explained in the lecture, having one without the other can lead to a recipe for disaster. If one is simply patient and waits and waits and waits without investing any action, nothing will come of it. Conversely, if one is extremely enthusiastic and is not patient then if the results of one’s endeavor do not come immediately, one may become disheartened and give up altogether.

It is often proclaimed “Work as though everything depends upon you and pray knowing everything is dependent upon God (Krsna).” In that one sentence one can find patience and enthusiasm as the underlying seeds which need to be planted in order for the flower of Krsna bhakti to blossom. In fact, it will lead us to the coveted goal we should all aspire towards- steadiness in service, in sadhana and in our consciousness of Krsna at all times.

So the next time you feel yourself getting extremely enthusiastic or feel as though Krsna may be testing you by making you wait for something, remember that it’s not just patience or just enthusiasm that are required to advance. It’s both.