Krishna is Present With Us At Every Moment

This is an excerpt from a lecture that HH Radhanath Swami gave. I found this to be so beautiful and relevant that I wanted to share it. You can find the complete lecture transcription at www.radhanathmaharaj.net/node/5

So we find here, Gajendra in his condition has complete faith. He’s not offering a prayer that "Maybe the Lord will come, I hope He comes, I hope He hears me, I hope He exists." Have any of you chanted with that frame of mind? You chant in a very very dangerous situation. We’re chanting the Holy Names and we may be thinking, "I hope Krishna exists, I really need Him and I hope He hears me and I hope He reciprocates." In other words we are practicing bhakti but we don’t have complete shraddha, nista. Nista means very, very deep and strong faith. This is preliminary to bhava or to love awakening within our hearts. We have to have very strong foundational faith in whatever we do. When we’re making a garland, we have such faith that Krishna at this very moment is accepting my service or we’re sitting in Bhagavatam class, when we’re chanting our rounds, when we’re doing kirtana, when we’re sweeping the floor or washing the walls or whatever service we’re doing, management or book distribution or taking care of our child or our parents or studying in school with a spiritual purpose. Whatever service we may be doing it’s important that we have complete faith that here and now at this very moment, Krishna is present. Present in my heart, present in between every atom, present in the effulgence of Brahman, present in the moon and in the sun, present watching, hearing, responding, accepting my efforts and if I’m doing it properly, Krishna at this very moment is pleased with me. That is bhakti. Not that, "I’ll please Krishna tomorrow, today there's just some other things I have to deal with in my mind." Tomorrow never comes in that sense.

What Kind of Love?

This weekend I had a wonderful opportunity to attend Russell's revived "Riverfest". Russell is a small town about a half an hour from Ottawa. My godbrother Kacper was one of the key players in reviving this little festival which consisted of showing Russell's artistic talent. The festival took place in a small parking lot which overlooked a small ravine/hill where the centre stage was set up.

In the parking lot there were different booths set up including the small Russell newspaper, different artisan craftsmen showcasing their wares as well as a booth for Govinda's! Kacper had the brilliant idea of having Govinda's provide hot meals for the festival. As my dear friend Vraja put it, "Prasadam has now hit Russell!"

The event was really sweet. Being a small town, everyone is so friendly, obliging and welcoming. There were two highlights for me though. First of all, being allowed to help serve out prasadam to those who had never received it was truly mind-blowing. Secondly, I had an opportunity to spend time with my senior godbrother- HG Paramahamsa prabhu.

Paramahamsa prabhu is hands down one of the most inspirational devotees I have the good fortune of knowing. He is a gentle soul who truly practices the art of sadhu sanga. He is dedicated to serving our beloved Guru Maharaja and the vaisnavas through body, mind and words. Never wanting to be in the spotlight, he is the seemingly invisible mover and shaker who gets things done and is an incredible father as evidenced by his two wonderful children Agata and Kacper.

As the day progressed, I had an opportunity to hear some of his realizations and one of them really struck me. He was speaking about co-operation and was quoting Srila Prabhupada's famous words "You can show your love for me by how you cooperate with one another."

As he was speaking about cooperation, he brought up a very insightful point. He was saying that as devotees it's not enough that we simply cooperate. We need to take a good and hard look at how we cooperate. For example, we can simply tolerate one another, forget to value and appreciate each other and say, "Yes, I'm cooperating!" But Prabhupada said that our love is shown by how we cooperate. Is that the kind of love we have for one another then? Simply using each others' time, energy, talents and resources in the name of service?

We need to value and respect one another. Of course, we may not always agree, but respect and affection must be there. It should be the basis of all our dealings as bhakti yoga practitioners. How can we expect to go back to Godhead if our dealings with one another here are any representation of how we would act if we went back to the spiritual world? I don't think Krishna wants that kind of love.

Prabhu went on to say that the vaisnavas are the most valuable gems that we have. They are our lifeline. Without them we would be lost and so it is most imperative that we learn to how to interact with one another properly. If we do so, then not only can we cooperate nicely but we can truly show Srila Prabhupada how much we love him.

Thank you Paramahamsa prabhu for showing by example what it means to love Srila Prabhupada.

Engulfed in a Memory

Have you ever been engulfed in a memory? Somehow just whisked away and dropped into a moment that was long forgotten? Yesterday I was carried back to Italy.

During the summer of 2005, my best friend Sudevi and I traveled through different parts of Europe attending different festivals. Upon arriving in Venice-Treviso, we had to take a train to get to our next destination of Trieste. Since neither of us spoke Italian, both of us were utterly confused and so what should have taken us moments to figure out ended up costing us minutes.

I still remember how we were waiting in an impossibly long line to get our tickets when we heard an announcement saying the train we were supposed to be on was about to leave. Considering the fact that we had to catch a bus leaving that night from Trieste to Zagreb, Croatia, this left us in a dilemma. On one hand we had no ticket in our hand and on the other hand we HAD to make that train.

Within seconds I found myself running after Sudevi who was running for the train. My Canadian mentality was thinking "We don't have a ticket! How can we get on the train!?" A few minutes later a weary and exhilarated Sudevi and I found ourselves on a moving train towards Trieste.

As we caught our breath, we saw the ticket inspector walking around. As I calmly started panicking, Sudevi remained cool. In an off-handed manner she reassured me that in Europe you can just buy your ticket on the train. So when the inspector came to us, we somehow managed to convey to him that we needed to buy a ticket. Consulting his clipboard he informed us that it would cost us each 30 Euros. What? It didn't make any sense. At the station the ticket would have only cost us 5 Euros. The inspector nodded and said that this was the penalty for buying the ticket on board. He then gave us two options: 1. we pay the outrageous price or 2. we get off at the next stop, buy the ticket at the station and take the next train.

Considering we were traveling on a very meager budget, the choice was clear and so we disembarked at the next station. This was the exact moment I was carried away to yesterday. A flashback of Sudevi and I sitting on the pavement at this remote station somewhere in Italy, after having bought popsicles. The early evening sun shone upon us and we were giggling at the predicament we were in.

These are the special moments. Moments where you remind one another that this must be Krishna's arrangement and you take the time given to you to talk Krsna katha rather than curse the universe for not allowing your plans to work out the way you want to.

I had forgotten that moment. I had forgotten the muggy air, the 45 minute wait for the next train and the joy of eating a popsicle with my dear friend. As I sit recollecting now, we never did make the bus that night as that second train ended up getting delayed. Instead we had to spend a night in Trieste where we ate some gelato and wandered around the beautiful seaport city before heading to Zagreb in the morning.

I still don't remember exactly what we spoke about that day, but the image still brings a smile to my face as I think back to two girls, a remote train station and peals of laughter piercing the Italian evening air.

You've Joined the Strong...

Initiations are a time for a reflection, introspection and gratitude. It is the time when the bhakti yogi is formally "beginning" their spiritual life and is connected to the great teachers of the disciplic succession.

I personally love attending initiation ceremonies because they act like little alarm clocks. An alarm clock "wakes" us out of the illusion that we can continue to sleep for hours blissfully in ignorance and jolts us into the reality that we need to wake up and perform our duty. Similarly, initiation ceremonies shake me out of my complacency and once again make me conscious to the gratitude that lies sleeping in my heart that my own spiritual master has granted me shelter at his lotus feet.

HH Bhaktimarga Swami gave a beautiful initiation talk speaking of various different points including the importance of the holy name, taking shelter of Srila Prabhupada and the importance of taking formal initiation.

One point, however, just jumped out and has now taken up residence in my heart and my mind: "By taking initiation you are now aligning yourself with Srila Prabhupada and the Guru parampara. You've now joined the strong, so there is no excuse for you to be weak."

It is SUCH a powerful point. "You have joined the strong, so there is no excuse for you to be the weak." Firstly, this statement shows how strong HH Bhaktimarga Swami's own faith is in Srila Prabhupada and the Guru parampara as through his own actions we see how he always remains strong and steady in his service to his spiritual master.

Secondly, this is a statement we should all inscribe onto our own hearts. It doesn't matter what happens. It doesn't matter what maya throws at us. We have joined the strong side which means we don't have any more excuses to give. Why? Because if we become weak and start giving excuses it simply means that we are not tapping into the oceans of strength that are there for our disposal.

We have the best support system in the entire creation. We have Srila Prabhupada, Rupa Goswami, Lord Chaitanya Mahaprabhu etc, etc. All of these great stalwart and amazing personalities are on OUR side and are just waiting to help us out. It is only due to our own lack of faith and trust that we would ever dare to think that we are alone and cannot overcome any obstacles and anarthas that we face.

I feel humbled and unqualified to think that I have "joined the strong" because I see how weak I am. However, I am so grateful that I was allowed to be present at this wonderful event and I am so grateful that somehow Krishna allowed me to hear this life-changing statement. I may be weak, but I too will become strong.

To all the initiates, including my dear friend Radha-prema who received the beautiful name Radha Krishna devi dasi, congratulations! You have joined the strong and we all pray that you may feel the gratitude, love and strength that you are feeling now and will continue to inspire all of us in your service to your guru and Srila Prabhupada.

Roller Coaster of Faith

The Ride of Steel at Darien Lake

This past week I went to two amusement parks. Back to back.

It's been close to ten years since I've been on a roller coaster and for the past few years I've been wanting to go and it never ended up working out. So this summer, I suggested going to Darien Lake with a friend of mine for our yearly road trip. A few days before the big day, I was speaking to another friend who asked if I wanted to go to Canada's Wonderland the Monday after Darien Lake. I thought, "Why not? Let's do it."

Needless to say, it was an exhilarating experience. But I was caught off guard as it also ended up being a surprisingly revealing one as well. I've always loved roller coasters. The higher the better.

Two of the most memorable coasters were the Ride of Steel at Darien Lake and the Behemoth at Canada's Wonderland which both drop the the rider close to 70 m down during its first drop. It's definitely an "intense" experience.

But more fascinating than the actual ride itself was the feeling I experienced standing in line and finally getting onto the coaster itself. I kept thinking, "There is no guarantee that I'll get out of this alive. Why am I doing it? It means that I'm putting all my faith into a man-made machine."

That's what really struck me. I put my faith in chance. My faith in chanting the holy names and knowing that Krsna is looking out for me tends to drop up and down, just like a roller coaster. It is so easy to put faith in other things because they seem to be more tangible.

But I did learn one thing from this experience. My faith that I would be safe on that roller coaster was strengthened by the fact that those riding it previously came back thrilled but unhurt. Similarly, my mentors and fellow bhakti yoga practitioners, who I am blessed to have in my life, show me daily the amazing results of putting one's faith in Krsna.

As for the ups and downs of faith I experience, well its just like a roller coaster. Ultimately it winds down and becomes steady and firm. The only difference is that most rides last less than a few minutes to come to that steady state. My journey in becoming firmly fixed in my faith may take a little longer. But I know it will. In the meantime, I know I can count on it being a wild ride.

Yoga Meltdown 2009

Walk through this year's yoga classes at Yoga Meltdown 2009

The Dust of Bliss

For a few years now, I’ve had the great privilege of being part of the festival organizing committee in Toronto, where I was for Krishna’s appearance day this year.

What does the festival organizing committee do? Well, it’s comprised of about 4-5 members who take the initiative to help make each festival a little more special. It may mean putting together a mini audio visual movie, choosing a theme for the festival, ensuring that the festival is accessible to a newcomer coming for the first time to the temple, organizing logistics such as projectors and screens, as well as various other odds and ends.

Now that I’m not living in Toronto anymore, I’m not necessarily on all of the festival calls and so I wasn’t aware of what was being planned for Krishna’s appearance day. In fact, I wasn’t even supposed to go to Toronto for this festival, but at the last minute there was something that pulled me to go to there.

As I was one the train, travelling to Toronto, I had only one desire- I wanted to do some service for this extremely special day. Praying for that opportunity, I entered the temple with some committee members. As they each scattered off to check up on last minute details and make sure everything was in place, I stood there feeling a little lost.

It was a strange feeling. For a good thirty seconds I felt totally out of place. Everyone seemed to have their task but me.

I turned to my friend Recha who was still standing next to me. For the first time ever, she and another devotee were going to dedicate their entire evening in helping to arrange shoes. Close to a thousand, if not more, people come to the Toronto Hare Krishna Centre for Krishna’s appearance day.

In previous years’, the shoe room has been a disaster. Imagine piles of shoes scattered in every direction. Visitors, in their enthusiasm to join in the festivities would kick off their shoes any which way, resulting in a total chaos. What to speak of those who came a little later. One wouldn’t be able see the floor and most people would end up walking on the shoes strewn about.

Inspiration and trepidation hit me simultaneously. On one hand this would be an amazing service. What could be a better service than to welcome visitors in and help arrange their shoes for them? On the other hand, I was wearing a brand new outfit and the selfish part of me was thinking, “But you’ll miss the program! You’ve journeyed all this way. It’s not fair if you miss the festival.” But something louder was screaming, “Help out! You won’t regret it!”

I asked Recha who very eagerly welcomed the help. And so it began. From 5pm-2am, save for a quick fifteen minute break to catch some fresh air and another fifteen minute break to see the deities in their beautiful flower outfits, I stayed in that shoe room. At first I was giving out numbered tickets to everyone and passing on their shoes to the other wonderful volunteers who were attaching the corresponding ticket and placing their shoes in the cubby holes. As the hours passed, the shoes kept flooding in and the team of six volunteers just couldn’t keep up. As the night passed, we all kept trading places and soon I found myself sitting in a pile of shoes, trying to tag them and trying in vain to keep a semblance of order which just wasn’t going to happen!

But the reciprocation that each and every one of us in that shoe room felt- well, nothing can ever replace that feeling. Even though our system wasn’t working out as well as we wanted it to, everyone was so appreciative. I don’t think I have ever received so many blessings as I did that night.

What made it even more special was how dedicated all the helpers were. Nobody left. That didn’t mean people didn’t want to. I personally experienced an entire spectrum of emotions from enthusiasm to frustration to numbness to tiredness, but you couldn’t have got me out of there even if you tried. Each particle of dust on each shoe that came in was imbibed with bliss. I have never experienced that kind of satisfaction in my life. The dust of bliss.

Later on, a few of us were speaking about our experiences in helping out in the shoe room. Somebody recounted a beautiful anecdote that further imprinted this experience in my heart. Apparently in another place of worship, people will actually fight to help arrange the shoes. It is said that the Lord comes disguised as a visitor and so one lucky person may actually get to personally serve the Lord. Wow! How amazing is that? Whether the Lord personally came and allowed us to take his shoes, I don’t know. But one thing I do know. We got to serve his beloved servants and because of that got to experience the dust of bliss.