It's been way too long since I've written and I can feel all the experiences I've had so far this Kartik just longing to tumble out of my fingertips.
This year, Krishna in his most beautiful form of Manohara, has brought me to Vrndavana in a very unique way. I got to skip the grueling traveling of 16 hours + and instead was allowed to come to Sri Sri Radha Manohara's temple in Montreal. Although I would love to be in the physical geographical location of Vrndavana, the mood and consciousness of the dham are being manifested right here in the increasingly cold climate of Montreal.
So far, I have been lucky to go out on harinama almost five days a week. A few sincere and dedicated devotees go out nearly everyday despite rain or shine but always with the attitude of determination to present the public of Montreal with the nectarean sounds of the holy names.
Truth be told, I like harinama. Occasionally. LOL. It's not something that I have ever done on a regular basis, but I'll say one thing. Just like this beautiful Manohara here finds tricky ways to get you super attached to him, it's the same deal with harinama. You get hooked and fast. It's almost like an addiction. The day just doesn't feel the same without going out on harinama.
It's also the most revealing experience on both the internal and external level. On the internal level, just like everything else in devotional service for the neophyte practitioner, there are days when the mind just doesn't feel like it. It will come up with every excuse in the book not to go out. Or even worse is when the enthusiasm to go is there in the beginning and once you are out on the streets it just suddenly fizzles away.
Or if you ever have an opportunity to lead. Wow! If you want to get a good glimpse into your level of devotion, leading a harinama is a good way to find out. My ideal meditation is to dedicate this service to my Guru Maharaja who used to go out on books and do harinama in addition to all the deity service when he used to be at the Boston temple in the early days. His sincere desire to serve Srila Prabhupada is so inspiring. But try keeping that meditation with people bustling past you, horns honking and the ever dreaded making sure the melody you picked is one others can follow.
On the external level it is amazing to see the modes are at work. One can actually see how the material world really is one of suffering. Rarely does anyone look happy as they walk by, unless they happen to catch a smile of a devotee and per chance return one. Everyone looks stressed, tired and worn out. And of those who are driving, many are irate, upset and frustrated at the others who are sharing the road with them.
So in the midst of the chaos and confusion the sweet sound of harinama pierces through the thick curtain of mixed consciousness. It jolts passers by out of their I, me, my worlds and catches them off guard. So the next time someone says, "Let's go on harinama" don't think twice. Just go. Whether it be three devotees or 300 devotees, it's not actually a numbers game. It's the best gift you can give to yourself. This is an addiction you you want to take up.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Krishna is Present With Us At Every Moment
This is an excerpt from a lecture that HH Radhanath Swami gave. I found this to be so beautiful and relevant that I wanted to share it. You can find the complete lecture transcription at www.radhanathmaharaj.net/node/5
So we find here, Gajendra in his condition has complete faith. He’s not offering a prayer that "Maybe the Lord will come, I hope He comes, I hope He hears me, I hope He exists." Have any of you chanted with that frame of mind? You chant in a very very dangerous situation. We’re chanting the Holy Names and we may be thinking, "I hope Krishna exists, I really need Him and I hope He hears me and I hope He reciprocates." In other words we are practicing bhakti but we don’t have complete shraddha, nista. Nista means very, very deep and strong faith. This is preliminary to bhava or to love awakening within our hearts. We have to have very strong foundational faith in whatever we do. When we’re making a garland, we have such faith that Krishna at this very moment is accepting my service or we’re sitting in Bhagavatam class, when we’re chanting our rounds, when we’re doing kirtana, when we’re sweeping the floor or washing the walls or whatever service we’re doing, management or book distribution or taking care of our child or our parents or studying in school with a spiritual purpose. Whatever service we may be doing it’s important that we have complete faith that here and now at this very moment, Krishna is present. Present in my heart, present in between every atom, present in the effulgence of Brahman, present in the moon and in the sun, present watching, hearing, responding, accepting my efforts and if I’m doing it properly, Krishna at this very moment is pleased with me. That is bhakti. Not that, "I’ll please Krishna tomorrow, today there's just some other things I have to deal with in my mind." Tomorrow never comes in that sense.
So we find here, Gajendra in his condition has complete faith. He’s not offering a prayer that "Maybe the Lord will come, I hope He comes, I hope He hears me, I hope He exists." Have any of you chanted with that frame of mind? You chant in a very very dangerous situation. We’re chanting the Holy Names and we may be thinking, "I hope Krishna exists, I really need Him and I hope He hears me and I hope He reciprocates." In other words we are practicing bhakti but we don’t have complete shraddha, nista. Nista means very, very deep and strong faith. This is preliminary to bhava or to love awakening within our hearts. We have to have very strong foundational faith in whatever we do. When we’re making a garland, we have such faith that Krishna at this very moment is accepting my service or we’re sitting in Bhagavatam class, when we’re chanting our rounds, when we’re doing kirtana, when we’re sweeping the floor or washing the walls or whatever service we’re doing, management or book distribution or taking care of our child or our parents or studying in school with a spiritual purpose. Whatever service we may be doing it’s important that we have complete faith that here and now at this very moment, Krishna is present. Present in my heart, present in between every atom, present in the effulgence of Brahman, present in the moon and in the sun, present watching, hearing, responding, accepting my efforts and if I’m doing it properly, Krishna at this very moment is pleased with me. That is bhakti. Not that, "I’ll please Krishna tomorrow, today there's just some other things I have to deal with in my mind." Tomorrow never comes in that sense.
Monday, September 21, 2009
What Kind of Love?
This weekend I had a wonderful opportunity to attend Russell's revived "Riverfest". Russell is a small town about a half an hour from Ottawa. My godbrother Kacper was one of the key players in reviving this little festival which consisted of showing Russell's artistic talent. The festival took place in a small parking lot which overlooked a small ravine/hill where the centre stage was set up.
In the parking lot there were different booths set up including the small Russell newspaper, different artisan craftsmen showcasing their wares as well as a booth for Govinda's! Kacper had the brilliant idea of having Govinda's provide hot meals for the festival. As my dear friend Vraja put it, "Prasadam has now hit Russell!"
The event was really sweet. Being a small town, everyone is so friendly, obliging and welcoming. There were two highlights for me though. First of all, being allowed to help serve out prasadam to those who had never received it was truly mind-blowing. Secondly, I had an opportunity to spend time with my senior godbrother- HG Paramahamsa prabhu.
Paramahamsa prabhu is hands down one of the most inspirational devotees I have the good fortune of knowing. He is a gentle soul who truly practices the art of sadhu sanga. He is dedicated to serving our beloved Guru Maharaja and the vaisnavas through body, mind and words. Never wanting to be in the spotlight, he is the seemingly invisible mover and shaker who gets things done and is an incredible father as evidenced by his two wonderful children Agata and Kacper.
As the day progressed, I had an opportunity to hear some of his realizations and one of them really struck me. He was speaking about co-operation and was quoting Srila Prabhupada's famous words "You can show your love for me by how you cooperate with one another."
As he was speaking about cooperation, he brought up a very insightful point. He was saying that as devotees it's not enough that we simply cooperate. We need to take a good and hard look at how we cooperate. For example, we can simply tolerate one another, forget to value and appreciate each other and say, "Yes, I'm cooperating!" But Prabhupada said that our love is shown by how we cooperate. Is that the kind of love we have for one another then? Simply using each others' time, energy, talents and resources in the name of service?
We need to value and respect one another. Of course, we may not always agree, but respect and affection must be there. It should be the basis of all our dealings as bhakti yoga practitioners. How can we expect to go back to Godhead if our dealings with one another here are any representation of how we would act if we went back to the spiritual world? I don't think Krishna wants that kind of love.
Prabhu went on to say that the vaisnavas are the most valuable gems that we have. They are our lifeline. Without them we would be lost and so it is most imperative that we learn to how to interact with one another properly. If we do so, then not only can we cooperate nicely but we can truly show Srila Prabhupada how much we love him.
Thank you Paramahamsa prabhu for showing by example what it means to love Srila Prabhupada.
In the parking lot there were different booths set up including the small Russell newspaper, different artisan craftsmen showcasing their wares as well as a booth for Govinda's! Kacper had the brilliant idea of having Govinda's provide hot meals for the festival. As my dear friend Vraja put it, "Prasadam has now hit Russell!"
The event was really sweet. Being a small town, everyone is so friendly, obliging and welcoming. There were two highlights for me though. First of all, being allowed to help serve out prasadam to those who had never received it was truly mind-blowing. Secondly, I had an opportunity to spend time with my senior godbrother- HG Paramahamsa prabhu.
Paramahamsa prabhu is hands down one of the most inspirational devotees I have the good fortune of knowing. He is a gentle soul who truly practices the art of sadhu sanga. He is dedicated to serving our beloved Guru Maharaja and the vaisnavas through body, mind and words. Never wanting to be in the spotlight, he is the seemingly invisible mover and shaker who gets things done and is an incredible father as evidenced by his two wonderful children Agata and Kacper.
As the day progressed, I had an opportunity to hear some of his realizations and one of them really struck me. He was speaking about co-operation and was quoting Srila Prabhupada's famous words "You can show your love for me by how you cooperate with one another."
As he was speaking about cooperation, he brought up a very insightful point. He was saying that as devotees it's not enough that we simply cooperate. We need to take a good and hard look at how we cooperate. For example, we can simply tolerate one another, forget to value and appreciate each other and say, "Yes, I'm cooperating!" But Prabhupada said that our love is shown by how we cooperate. Is that the kind of love we have for one another then? Simply using each others' time, energy, talents and resources in the name of service?
We need to value and respect one another. Of course, we may not always agree, but respect and affection must be there. It should be the basis of all our dealings as bhakti yoga practitioners. How can we expect to go back to Godhead if our dealings with one another here are any representation of how we would act if we went back to the spiritual world? I don't think Krishna wants that kind of love.
Prabhu went on to say that the vaisnavas are the most valuable gems that we have. They are our lifeline. Without them we would be lost and so it is most imperative that we learn to how to interact with one another properly. If we do so, then not only can we cooperate nicely but we can truly show Srila Prabhupada how much we love him.
Thank you Paramahamsa prabhu for showing by example what it means to love Srila Prabhupada.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Engulfed in a Memory
Have you ever been engulfed in a memory? Somehow just whisked away and dropped into a moment that was long forgotten? Yesterday I was carried back to Italy.
During the summer of 2005, my best friend Sudevi and I traveled through different parts of Europe attending different festivals. Upon arriving in Venice-Treviso, we had to take a train to get to our next destination of Trieste. Since neither of us spoke Italian, both of us were utterly confused and so what should have taken us moments to figure out ended up costing us minutes.
I still remember how we were waiting in an impossibly long line to get our tickets when we heard an announcement saying the train we were supposed to be on was about to leave. Considering the fact that we had to catch a bus leaving that night from Trieste to Zagreb, Croatia, this left us in a dilemma. On one hand we had no ticket in our hand and on the other hand we HAD to make that train.
Within seconds I found myself running after Sudevi who was running for the train. My Canadian mentality was thinking "We don't have a ticket! How can we get on the train!?" A few minutes later a weary and exhilarated Sudevi and I found ourselves on a moving train towards Trieste.
As we caught our breath, we saw the ticket inspector walking around. As I calmly started panicking, Sudevi remained cool. In an off-handed manner she reassured me that in Europe you can just buy your ticket on the train. So when the inspector came to us, we somehow managed to convey to him that we needed to buy a ticket. Consulting his clipboard he informed us that it would cost us each 30 Euros. What? It didn't make any sense. At the station the ticket would have only cost us 5 Euros. The inspector nodded and said that this was the penalty for buying the ticket on board. He then gave us two options: 1. we pay the outrageous price or 2. we get off at the next stop, buy the ticket at the station and take the next train.
Considering we were traveling on a very meager budget, the choice was clear and so we disembarked at the next station. This was the exact moment I was carried away to yesterday. A flashback of Sudevi and I sitting on the pavement at this remote station somewhere in Italy, after having bought popsicles. The early evening sun shone upon us and we were giggling at the predicament we were in.
These are the special moments. Moments where you remind one another that this must be Krishna's arrangement and you take the time given to you to talk Krsna katha rather than curse the universe for not allowing your plans to work out the way you want to.
I had forgotten that moment. I had forgotten the muggy air, the 45 minute wait for the next train and the joy of eating a popsicle with my dear friend. As I sit recollecting now, we never did make the bus that night as that second train ended up getting delayed. Instead we had to spend a night in Trieste where we ate some gelato and wandered around the beautiful seaport city before heading to Zagreb in the morning.
I still don't remember exactly what we spoke about that day, but the image still brings a smile to my face as I think back to two girls, a remote train station and peals of laughter piercing the Italian evening air.
During the summer of 2005, my best friend Sudevi and I traveled through different parts of Europe attending different festivals. Upon arriving in Venice-Treviso, we had to take a train to get to our next destination of Trieste. Since neither of us spoke Italian, both of us were utterly confused and so what should have taken us moments to figure out ended up costing us minutes.
I still remember how we were waiting in an impossibly long line to get our tickets when we heard an announcement saying the train we were supposed to be on was about to leave. Considering the fact that we had to catch a bus leaving that night from Trieste to Zagreb, Croatia, this left us in a dilemma. On one hand we had no ticket in our hand and on the other hand we HAD to make that train.
Within seconds I found myself running after Sudevi who was running for the train. My Canadian mentality was thinking "We don't have a ticket! How can we get on the train!?" A few minutes later a weary and exhilarated Sudevi and I found ourselves on a moving train towards Trieste.
As we caught our breath, we saw the ticket inspector walking around. As I calmly started panicking, Sudevi remained cool. In an off-handed manner she reassured me that in Europe you can just buy your ticket on the train. So when the inspector came to us, we somehow managed to convey to him that we needed to buy a ticket. Consulting his clipboard he informed us that it would cost us each 30 Euros. What? It didn't make any sense. At the station the ticket would have only cost us 5 Euros. The inspector nodded and said that this was the penalty for buying the ticket on board. He then gave us two options: 1. we pay the outrageous price or 2. we get off at the next stop, buy the ticket at the station and take the next train.
Considering we were traveling on a very meager budget, the choice was clear and so we disembarked at the next station. This was the exact moment I was carried away to yesterday. A flashback of Sudevi and I sitting on the pavement at this remote station somewhere in Italy, after having bought popsicles. The early evening sun shone upon us and we were giggling at the predicament we were in.
These are the special moments. Moments where you remind one another that this must be Krishna's arrangement and you take the time given to you to talk Krsna katha rather than curse the universe for not allowing your plans to work out the way you want to.
I had forgotten that moment. I had forgotten the muggy air, the 45 minute wait for the next train and the joy of eating a popsicle with my dear friend. As I sit recollecting now, we never did make the bus that night as that second train ended up getting delayed. Instead we had to spend a night in Trieste where we ate some gelato and wandered around the beautiful seaport city before heading to Zagreb in the morning.
I still don't remember exactly what we spoke about that day, but the image still brings a smile to my face as I think back to two girls, a remote train station and peals of laughter piercing the Italian evening air.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
You've Joined the Strong...
Initiations are a time for a reflection, introspection and gratitude. It is the time when the bhakti yogi is formally "beginning" their spiritual life and is connected to the great teachers of the disciplic succession.
I personally love attending initiation ceremonies because they act like little alarm clocks. An alarm clock "wakes" us out of the illusion that we can continue to sleep for hours blissfully in ignorance and jolts us into the reality that we need to wake up and perform our duty. Similarly, initiation ceremonies shake me out of my complacency and once again make me conscious to the gratitude that lies sleeping in my heart that my own spiritual master has granted me shelter at his lotus feet.
HH Bhaktimarga Swami gave a beautiful initiation talk speaking of various different points including the importance of the holy name, taking shelter of Srila Prabhupada and the importance of taking formal initiation.
One point, however, just jumped out and has now taken up residence in my heart and my mind: "By taking initiation you are now aligning yourself with Srila Prabhupada and the Guru parampara. You've now joined the strong, so there is no excuse for you to be weak."
It is SUCH a powerful point. "You have joined the strong, so there is no excuse for you to be the weak." Firstly, this statement shows how strong HH Bhaktimarga Swami's own faith is in Srila Prabhupada and the Guru parampara as through his own actions we see how he always remains strong and steady in his service to his spiritual master.
Secondly, this is a statement we should all inscribe onto our own hearts. It doesn't matter what happens. It doesn't matter what maya throws at us. We have joined the strong side which means we don't have any more excuses to give. Why? Because if we become weak and start giving excuses it simply means that we are not tapping into the oceans of strength that are there for our disposal.
We have the best support system in the entire creation. We have Srila Prabhupada, Rupa Goswami, Lord Chaitanya Mahaprabhu etc, etc. All of these great stalwart and amazing personalities are on OUR side and are just waiting to help us out. It is only due to our own lack of faith and trust that we would ever dare to think that we are alone and cannot overcome any obstacles and anarthas that we face.
I feel humbled and unqualified to think that I have "joined the strong" because I see how weak I am. However, I am so grateful that I was allowed to be present at this wonderful event and I am so grateful that somehow Krishna allowed me to hear this life-changing statement. I may be weak, but I too will become strong.
To all the initiates, including my dear friend Radha-prema who received the beautiful name Radha Krishna devi dasi, congratulations! You have joined the strong and we all pray that you may feel the gratitude, love and strength that you are feeling now and will continue to inspire all of us in your service to your guru and Srila Prabhupada.
I personally love attending initiation ceremonies because they act like little alarm clocks. An alarm clock "wakes" us out of the illusion that we can continue to sleep for hours blissfully in ignorance and jolts us into the reality that we need to wake up and perform our duty. Similarly, initiation ceremonies shake me out of my complacency and once again make me conscious to the gratitude that lies sleeping in my heart that my own spiritual master has granted me shelter at his lotus feet.
HH Bhaktimarga Swami gave a beautiful initiation talk speaking of various different points including the importance of the holy name, taking shelter of Srila Prabhupada and the importance of taking formal initiation.
One point, however, just jumped out and has now taken up residence in my heart and my mind: "By taking initiation you are now aligning yourself with Srila Prabhupada and the Guru parampara. You've now joined the strong, so there is no excuse for you to be weak."
It is SUCH a powerful point. "You have joined the strong, so there is no excuse for you to be the weak." Firstly, this statement shows how strong HH Bhaktimarga Swami's own faith is in Srila Prabhupada and the Guru parampara as through his own actions we see how he always remains strong and steady in his service to his spiritual master.
Secondly, this is a statement we should all inscribe onto our own hearts. It doesn't matter what happens. It doesn't matter what maya throws at us. We have joined the strong side which means we don't have any more excuses to give. Why? Because if we become weak and start giving excuses it simply means that we are not tapping into the oceans of strength that are there for our disposal.
We have the best support system in the entire creation. We have Srila Prabhupada, Rupa Goswami, Lord Chaitanya Mahaprabhu etc, etc. All of these great stalwart and amazing personalities are on OUR side and are just waiting to help us out. It is only due to our own lack of faith and trust that we would ever dare to think that we are alone and cannot overcome any obstacles and anarthas that we face.
I feel humbled and unqualified to think that I have "joined the strong" because I see how weak I am. However, I am so grateful that I was allowed to be present at this wonderful event and I am so grateful that somehow Krishna allowed me to hear this life-changing statement. I may be weak, but I too will become strong.
To all the initiates, including my dear friend Radha-prema who received the beautiful name Radha Krishna devi dasi, congratulations! You have joined the strong and we all pray that you may feel the gratitude, love and strength that you are feeling now and will continue to inspire all of us in your service to your guru and Srila Prabhupada.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Roller Coaster of Faith
The Ride of Steel at Darien LakeThis past week I went to two amusement parks. Back to back.
It's been close to ten years since I've been on a roller coaster and for the past few years I've been wanting to go and it never ended up working out. So this summer, I suggested going to Darien Lake with a friend of mine for our yearly road trip. A few days before the big day, I was speaking to another friend who asked if I wanted to go to Canada's Wonderland the Monday after Darien Lake. I thought, "Why not? Let's do it."
Needless to say, it was an exhilarating experience. But I was caught off guard as it also ended up being a surprisingly revealing one as well. I've always loved roller coasters. The higher the better.
Two of the most memorable coasters were the Ride of Steel at Darien Lake and the Behemoth at Canada's Wonderland which both drop the the rider close to 70 m down during its first drop. It's definitely an "intense" experience.
But more fascinating than the actual ride itself was the feeling I experienced standing in line and finally getting onto the coaster itself. I kept thinking, "There is no guarantee that I'll get out of this alive. Why am I doing it? It means that I'm putting all my faith into a man-made machine."
That's what really struck me. I put my faith in chance. My faith in chanting the holy names and knowing that Krsna is looking out for me tends to drop up and down, just like a roller coaster. It is so easy to put faith in other things because they seem to be more tangible.
But I did learn one thing from this experience. My faith that I would be safe on that roller coaster was strengthened by the fact that those riding it previously came back thrilled but unhurt. Similarly, my mentors and fellow bhakti yoga practitioners, who I am blessed to have in my life, show me daily the amazing results of putting one's faith in Krsna.
As for the ups and downs of faith I experience, well its just like a roller coaster. Ultimately it winds down and becomes steady and firm. The only difference is that most rides last less than a few minutes to come to that steady state. My journey in becoming firmly fixed in my faith may take a little longer. But I know it will. In the meantime, I know I can count on it being a wild ride.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
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