Full Circle

I once read a quote comparing a spiral staircase to life stating that we encounter the same lessons over and over but just at different levels.

There is a lot of truth in those words. Over and over I see how lessons, advice and situations come back full circle. When I first moved to Montreal during Kartik it struck me how I was living on the same street where my parents used to live when I was born. I had returned to where I had started (so to speak).

Similarly, I was musing over a conversation I had with my dad today. The gist of it was this- I need to go deeper. It's something I've known I should do for a long time now, but I think what is preventing me is that I'm not able to maintain my determination to remain single-minded and focused.

It reminded me of a conversation I had with my spiritual master once. I had asked him, "What should I look for in a spiritual master?" He replied, "You need someone who grounds you."

Both these conversations hold significant visual images of earth and stability. Krsna Consciousness is a wonderful process, but it is very easy to stay on the superficial, top surface. Whether it be service, relationships, chanting, etc..the list can go on and on. But it's not those "things" that help us, it is the quality of interactions and the consciousness behind it.

Becoming deeper to me means putting down deep roots such as sincerely chanting, hearing and reading. It also takes time. I need to til the soil through introspection. Go through the arduous task of identifying the weeds of my anarthas, take increasing shelter in the nourishing soil of the Holy Name and continue watering those roots with vaisnava sanga.

And what if I don't? Well, I think I'll just keep coming back to this realization: all those lessons, advice and situations I experienced are there for only one purpose- to help me take shelter and go deep in becoming truly Krsna conscious and I'll keep encountering them over and over until I really imbibe them. I pray for the mercy of the vaisnavas that I may be blessed as I re-begin my journey to become and go deeper in hopes of one day becoming a strong, deep-rooted servant.