It's really amazing that even in a place like Sri Mayapur dham that someone (i.e. me) sometimes feels like there is something missing. It really goes to show how the mind is so fickle and restless. I'm surrounded by the most wonderful devotees, the most beautiful Panca Tattva, getting opportunities to serve the devotees and the deities and still my mind can sometimes find excuses to feel unsatisfied. How unfortunate am I?
But I'm a big believer in looking at the positive and the positive in this case is that at least I recognize that I am an ungrateful rascal! :D That's at least a step in the right direction. That helps me to realize that I am in dire need of mercy. Recognizing one's utter disqualification, helplessness and dependence on Krsna is the vessel that is required to collect the mercy when it comes.
Also it goes to show how as devotees we need to realize that we are CONSTANTLY at war with maya. Maya is not just an object or situation, it is more often a frame of mind. I'm realizing my greatest maya is to not recognize and value the situations and lessons I'm learning now. Instead my mind is hankering and comparing and lamenting....a sure sign that I am not chanting with the attention and focus that I should have.
So that being said, I think I'm going to go take a walk in the beautiful cintamani laden land of Sri Mayapur dham and chant, chant, chant...
1 comment:
I didn't get to tell you when I met you....
you are an amazing devotee and have the most wonderful realizations! It really is so inspiring to read your experiences and realizations....I'm glad I got to meet you! *hugs* haribol!
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