Ok Krsna, You Be God!

Ever just feel totally mental? Well I certainly do...It happens when I feel like I have no control over my life. It was funny....during the past week I heard something that I really liked and have a lot of trouble doing, "Go to Krsna and tell him ok, you be God!"

It's actually a very serious and valid statement if you think about it. Theoretically I know that I am not the controller but in reality I still think I am! Krsna (at least in my case) has to back me up into a corner for me to realize that, "Hey, I have no control WHATSOEVER!" It's pretty painful...but at the same time it can be sweetly liberating. It's much nicer for someone else to take care of everything for you, right? Then what's the problem with letting Krsna handle everything?

Normally it's due to the fact that we bring over our material experiences and wrongly apply them to Krsna. But Krsna is not just anyone, he's God! The other reason that we have trouble letting Krsna handle everything is that sometimes we have "tried" to let Krsna handle it, but he hasn't given us what we wanted. So that has also caused us to lose faith and trust.

The funny thing is that (and I can tell I'm preaching to myself as I write this) we always tend to look at everything from a microscopic perspective, that is from a very limited point of view. I know that if I ever stop to look at how things have gone in my life, I can see that everything has happened at the right time. Things that didn't work (that I really wanted) I can see later on really were for the best. But it's hard to have that kind of vision when things are happening NOW.

So what to do? The eternal question. One thing that has helped me is reading Srimad Bhagavatam. There we see how so many devotees have waited and prayed and trusted Krsna to guide them. We also see the incredible results of having such implicit faith in Krsna. Hearing stories from other devotees as to how Krsna has arranged everything, even the "seemingly impossible" is also a huge faith and trust booster.

So try it out...what have you got to lose anyways? I just had a realization yesterday actually. Normally when I go to Krsna I am very specific and I say "I want this," but as devotees we hear this is the wrong attitude. Technically we should approach Krsna and say "Please let this happen if you so desire." But I have huge control issues and for the past week or so I just haven't been able to bring myself to say that.

I had a really nice epiphany yesterday. I was thinking about why I can't say "Please let this happen if you so desire." It's because I feel that if I do I REALLY will have no control over the situation. See, my ridiculous thinking is that if I tell Krsna "It's this I want" then somehow I trick myself into thinking that now Krsna has to give me this and only this. WRONG! Krsna is still fully in control, this is just my vain and useless attempt in trying to keep some illusion of control. So I tried it this morning..."Ok Krsna, if you so desire." It was really hard and probably not so genuine...but this is my attempt to show Krsna that I am truly trying to let him take charge and take control.

So try it out...what have you got to lose? :D