The 500th Anniversary

This Gaura Purnima marked the 500th anniversary of Lord Caitanya's taking sannyasa. On this most auspicious occasion, all the devotees who were fortunate to be in Gopinatha dham (aka: Chowpatty) were able to witness the sannyasa initation of HG Jagat Caksur prabhu. In the presence of Sri Sri Radha Gopinatha, HH Kavicandra Swami, HH Candramauli Swami and all the assembled vaisnavas, prabhuji received sannyasa initiation from HH Radhanatha Swami and was given the name Bhakti Caksur Sundara Goswami.

For me, the underlying message behind this year's Gaura Purnima was the unceasing and compassionate mercy of Caitanaya Mahaprabhu. Yes, as devotees we may theoretically know and even accept this fact, but do we really feel it? It's a question that I'm now asking myself as I reflect upon the hours of katha I heard yesterday. Caitanya Mahaprabhu took sannyasa at the tender age of 24. He gave up a loving mother, an incredible wife and all facilities just so he could spread the holy name around to everyone. He did this for us. How much more compassionate can someone be? But am I truly grateful? The sad truth is a resounding NO. I'm not grateful.

Why do I actually feel this now? Because being in the association of HH Radhanatha Swami is always sweet torture for me. It's sweet because it's HH Radhanatha Swami who is one of my beloved siksa gurus and the epitome of humility, but on the other hand it's torture because Maharaja has the incredible ability to show me exactly who I am. I am normally under the blissful illusion that I'm a good devotee, but with Maharaja, there's no room for that pretense. I instead realize how ungrateful, undetermined, and proud I actually am.

Yesterday was definitely no exception. Hours upon hours upon hours of listening and hearing to Gauranga's pastimes has such an impact on the heart. By hearing the attitude, behavior and genuine love the associates of Mahaprabhu had for him and the holy name it gives a good reality check as to what I am. That reality check is that I am a mercy case.

I am a mercy case who desperately needs the mercy of Caitanya Mahaprabhu. And instead of feeling completely wretched and fallen, I feel so happy because this is the only pre-requisite I need for the mercy of Mahaprabhu! I actually qualify! :D How much more fortunate can I be?

So on this 500th anniversary of Lord Caitanya's taking sannyasa, the ultimate act of compassion, I beg at his lotus feet that I may be utilized as an instrument to spread his glories and that I may truly become trnad api sunicena...