Reflections in the Heat

The past few days have just been....well....hot and pretty chaotic! Sri Mayapur dham is steaming as I write and unfortunately I haven't been coping so well with the heat. Most of the time I'm trying to get things done and instead I end up in my room under my fan taking naps! Definitely not the way I'd like to spend my last few weeks in the holy dham! :(

But a very dear friend of mine, Radha Sundari, shared a realization that she had which I very much appreciate. "Sometimes in the heat you just have to surrender to the fact that you might not get anything done!"

Being a person who is normally pretty active (I say normally because I can be very absorbed in my worship of Nidra devi at times!) I feel pretty useless especially now that the deity worship course has come to an end. Having been running on maximum potential for the past couple of weeks with barely any sleep, lots of excitement and lots of mercy, I feel like a blob at times.

However, I've been trying to utilize this time to become more reflective. Although the heat is slowing me down and is definitely taking a toll on my energy levels, at the same time its allowing me to spend more time with Radha Madhava/Panca Tattva/Nrsimhadeva and my own deities. I'm also getting more time to read and just reflect about what I want to do with my newfound knowledge, realizations and enthusiasm. I'm also getting to spend a lot of time with wonderful devotees that I've gotten the opportunity to meet.

Mayapur is home and the deities and the devotees are my family. I feel that more and more everyday. The mercy of Gauranga is so tangible and even when I feel like a useless incompetent blob, I've never felt happier in my life. So if it's hot and it needs to get hotter, let it be! I just pray that this Mayapur sun can melt my heart into a rich and tasty butter that my spiritual master can offer to Sri Sri Radha Madhava.